Charles Bukowski, the American poet and novelist, once said: "You begin saving the world by saving one person at a time; all else is grandiose romanticism or politics." Well, politics certainly saved this one person – although there don't seem to be many others my age who take much of an interest in it.
If I mention anything remotely related to the government or governments past to my friends, I get the same response: "Who cares about politics? They're all corrupt." Sometimes it's not even a verbal answer: there's a specific look of disappointment that gets the message across.
This week I took my interest in politics a bit further than I'd previously imagined. It seems I have become the first 14-year-old to vote in a general election and, if we're to keep some faith in our voting system and the competence of its managers, hopefully the last.
A few months ago my sister gave all the names in our household to an official who called at our door in Poulton, Lancashire. She thought the woman with the clipboard was asking about the census. In fact she was collecting names for the electoral register of Wyre and Preston North.
So on Thursday morning I dressed as much like a Tory as I could manage: a trench coat, reading glasses, sharp shoes. I gave it my slightly eccentric aristocrat's walk and my best self-righteous Conservative accent, walked into St Hilda's polling station, went straight to the table and was directed to the slip which I was to cross. I paused, considered voting for Cat Smith of Labour, and then firmly placed a big cross in Lib Dem Danny Gallagher's box.
I was probably the most perplexed person there: no glares or stares, just in and out in less than 30 seconds.
My vote went with our local Liberal Democrat candidate for three reasons:
The first is that the country clearly wanted change. As an illegal voter I had no right to go against that.
The second is that as a socialist democrat I thought that the Liberals' views were the most democratic out of the three main parties. I sincerely hope Nick Clegg doesn't compromise on proportional representation in his meetings with Dave.
The third was I saw it as something of a tactical vote in an effort to hang parliament – the Lib Dems were most likely to beat the Tories in my constituency (although they didn't). The Daily Mail, being the wonderfully pragmatic paper that it is, has called it "steps to chaos". (Obviously, a Conservative government would be an instant step to economic heaven.) Out of all the possible outcomes, I am crossing my fingers for a Lib-Lab coalition.
My crime only came out when I confided in one of my teachers. She didn't see the funny side and told the deputy head. I don't blame him for reporting it to the council, he was legally obliged at that point. But it was rather nerve-racking to think that I might be fast on the road to becoming a convict.
When the police arrived, I came across way too informed and understanding to claim ignorance; the burly officer's patronising tone lowered as our interview progressed. Fortunately, it seems that I'm not going to be prosecuted.
As it happens, I stood as a candidate this week, too. But my fraud isn't that grand. This time it was legal – a mock election at school.
I and the candidates from other parties placed propaganda and stickers wherever we could.
My Socialist Labour party went with the slogans "Nobody gets left behind" and "By the people, for the people".
The Conservative party's campaign seemed eerily reminiscent of some cheap Disney production – "We're all in this together!"
The Libertarians didn't go with a slogan, just some clever pieces about marijuana and prostitution. They received a better reception with the teenagers than the staff.
Labour had one poster up, bless them, and it was just the usual: "A future fair for all."
Ukip, who weren't at all ignorant or clueless, went with a picture of Arnold Schwarzenegger which was captioned: "Hasta la vista, Conservatives."
The girls who did the Green party's campaign went with these cute, hand-drawn posters that read "Fair is worth fighting for."
Filling Arthur Scargill's boots was intriguing; I found myself explaining socialism over and over. Whilst I didn't win (far from it), I did manage to get 20 teenagers to grasp the concept of socialism and embrace it. To me that's a great success.
So why did I vote for the Liberal Democrats? Well, I voted for something that lends itself to my socialism because I believe that everybody has a moral obligation to help their fellow man and promote equal opportunities; conservatism, regardless of its alleged progressiveness, urinates all over that obligation.
The working class/upper class contrast we have in this country is nothing short of an unofficial caste system. Since I took an interest in politics when I first read about Tony Benn, my interests have always been in equality and genuine democracy. First past the post just doesn't cut it.
I dream of being a respected politician in the future – two favourite people in the world are Bill Hicks and Tony Benn. Just as William Hague got his step-up to politics from talking to the Conservative conference at my age, I would be delighted if some of Clegg's party or Brown's party would get in touch with me. I remain somewhat undecided about which is more socialist, with the absence of Labour's clause four.
The highlight of my week was refusing an interview with the Sun, not just because I'm a Liverpool fan but also because I have some sense of decency. In any case, I read the Guardian, of course.
Falling out with the Mail (I honestly thought they might be decent about it; silly me!) was interesting. Their second piece on me was just a lie; they ignored all of my truths.
Still, I've enjoyed my Warholian 15 minutes. It's been one heck of a ride, I can tell you. Twitter's resident bloggers were mostly applausive of me, which came as a shock. But some suggested I get five years in jail, which to me takes things a little bit far.