Cambridge Noir

Excerpts from the film noir crime-comedy-thriller I will never direct ...

Apr 30
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More new material at Somnopolis


May 25
In the South Front of the University Library, even the stoutest heart can falter when a deathly hush falls across the carpet-tiled corridors.

In the South Front of the University Library, even the stoutest heart can falter when a deathly hush falls across the carpet-tiled corridors.


Mar 29
Swans. Vicious bastards of the Cam.

Swans. Vicious bastards of the Cam.


Mar 16
As a copyright depository, the University Library holds a copy of every book written by human hand. The tower, reputedly, is where they keep those that weren’t.

As a copyright depository, the University Library holds a copy of every book written by human hand. The tower, reputedly, is where they keep those that weren’t.


Mar 13
At Granchester Orchard I found my quarry had eluded me once again; but I was gaining on him. The deck chair was warm, and the scone crumbs fresh.

At Granchester Orchard I found my quarry had eluded me once again; but I was gaining on him. The deck chair was warm, and the scone crumbs fresh.


Mar 12
Across the May Ball crowd, I saw him under the lantern: Darien McMaster, the most dangerous archeologist alive. They say he’d added more bodies to the fossil record than most would ever remove …

Across the May Ball crowd, I saw him under the lantern: Darien McMaster, the most dangerous archeologist alive. They say he’d added more bodies to the fossil record than most would ever remove …


Mar 11
Once again, I was just one step behind my adversary.

Once again, I was just one step behind my adversary.


Mar 10
An iMac. Say what you like about the college necromancers, they could never quite keep up with the times.


An iMac. Say what you like about the college necromancers, they could never quite keep up with the times.


Mar 9
It was a winter’s day in Cambridge: cold as a bursar’s heart, and twice as bitter.


It was a winter’s day in Cambridge: cold as a bursar’s heart, and twice as bitter.


Mar 6
After the ‘63 outbreak, the Emmanuel College zombirarium had proven surprisingly effective …

After the ‘63 outbreak, the Emmanuel College zombirarium had proven surprisingly effective …


Mar 5
Students kept a good jogging pace through the Court under G staircase. This was in part a question of fitness, but largely a question of the Senior Tutor’s improving range and accuracy with a longbow.

Students kept a good jogging pace through the Court under G staircase. This was in part a question of fitness, but largely a question of the Senior Tutor’s improving range and accuracy with a longbow.


Mar 4
Clouds scowled over the College, dark-faced as invigilators by an exam hall door …

Clouds scowled over the College, dark-faced as invigilators by an exam hall door …


Mar 3
Of course, not every tourist punt that goes out comes back …


Of course, not every tourist punt that goes out comes back …


Mar 2

Cambridge Noir: au revoir

The gumshoe is leaving Cambridge, and shall be winding down his case files. A selection from the archives will presented over coming weeks, though previously unpublished case notes may appear from time to time.

The gumshoe would like to thank the clientele of Cambridge Noir for their patronage, patience and complete disinterest in the payment of duly presented invoices.


Feb 19
Cambridge: a town where mould and shadow creep slowly over every facade, and every heart behind them …

Cambridge: a town where mould and shadow creep slowly over every facade, and every heart behind them …


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