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Op-Ed: Brush up on your French with this Bastille Day flowchart

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YESYESYESYESYESNONONOT SURENONONONONOVousVousTuTuTuTuVousTuVousTuYESNOTuVousNONONOTuVousYESNOTuVousVous God? Are you speaking to a child?Are you an adult?You are speaking to...Is the childlike a prince or something?Are you speaking to an adult?Is the adult a family member?A friend or loverSomeone you don’t formally knowYour spouseYour father-in-lawYourbossYour teacherIs your spouse former President Jacques Chirac?Is your teacher young enough to be your daugh-ter or son?Do you work at a company like Le Google where no one wears neckties and everyone is “tu”?Is this someone consider-ably older (say, a half generation Did you participate in the French May 1968 riots demanding government reform and free love?This is a “vous” situ-ation. Except . . . did your boss just really tick you off, and you want him to know it?Were you at Woodstock?Come on, really?Swear to GodDo you consider this person a peer, that is, a fellow student, the coworker in the next cubicle, an Internet chat room acquaintance, or someone you met in a bar last night and just woke up next to?Do you feel lucky? Well, do you, punk?YESYESYESYESTuTuYESYESBestto askYESYESNONONOBelieve itor notTuOK, MAYBE NOT YESYESYESYESYESNONONOT SURENONONONONOVousVousTuTuTuTuVousTuVousTuYESNOTuVousNONONOTuVousYESNOTuVousVous God? Are you speaking to a child?Are you an adult?You are speaking to...Is the childlike a prince or something?Are you speaking to an adult?Is the adult a family member?A friend or loverSomeone you don’t formally knowYour spouseYour father-in-lawYourbossYour teacherIs your spouse former President Jacques Chirac?Is your teacher young enough to be your daugh-ter or son?Do you work at a company like Le Google where no one wears neckties and everyone is “tu”?Is this someone considerably older (say, a half generation or more) than you?Did you participate in the French May 1968 riots demanding government reform and free love?This is a “vous” situ-ation. Except . . . did your boss just really tick you off, and you want him to know it?Were you at Woodstock?Come on, really?SWEAR TO GODDo you consider this person a peer, that is, a fellow student, the coworker in the next cubicle, an Internet chat room acquaintance, or someone you met in a bar last night and just woke up next to?Do you feel lucky? Well, do you, punk?YESYESYESYESTuTuYESYESBestto askYESYESNONONOBelieve itor notTuOK, MAYBE NOT

William Alexander is the author of, among other books, the forthcoming "Flirting With French: How a Language Charmed Me, Seduced Me, and Almost Broke My Heart."

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